written by Suzi Jacobson, Stepping Stones advocate and 12-step bookstore manager
I’m fortunate to be part of the Stepping Stones community for the last five years. When I joined as a volunteer, I noticed this community was somehow different than any others I’d participated in over my lifetime. It took a while for the difference to sink in. Gradually, I realized that we’re serious around here about gratitude. Simple as that and more powerful than any mission statement I’ve ever encountered.
I hesitate to say more because the simplicity of gratitude is part of its great virtue. However, since it permeates everything we do, let me give you some examples of how it works. At the Stepping Stones shelter, we have adults and kids who have often been isolated, cut off from community of any form because that is one of the ways in which abusers exercise control. Gradually, the world of the domestic violence survivor shrinks as the abuser removes the phone, the car is taken away, access to friends and groups is prevented. Recognizing the distress that prompts each survivor to contact the shelter, it is gratitude that we can provide a safe place that prompts us to welcome each survivor into the shelter program.
A huge part of the program for survivors involves getting them connected to communities that will nurture healthy, positive change for them. Some find hope and connection in 12-Step recovery groups, faith communities, return to school, or jobs. What is so valuable to shelter residents is establishing new relationships both inside and outside their new home. Each of them finds that the experiences they have suffered they share in common with others. It is especially important for them to find communities to connect with that will carry over into their lives after they leave shelter. All survivors are encouraged to embrace the discipline of daily gratitude.
Scientists have found that being grateful changes our brain chemistry (go ahead, Google it!) Try this for a while: every day write down three things (big or little) you’re grateful for and, OK, you can also write down one worry, too. See what happens to you and your community!
Peace to you, SJ
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