You Can Move Through the Abuse and Out the Other Side Without Staying Stuck in the Middle…The Stepping Stones Way

Step One – Be courageous about honestly debriefing about the abuse…ALL OF IT. No matter how ugly it was, no matter how shameful you feel, no matter how painful it is to relive and describe to your Stepping Stones advocate. As early as you can remember from – even if you were only 4 years old – keep talking about it with your advocate. Grieve. Be angry, confused and even feel overwhelmed. Your advocate will help guide you on this journey and YOU WILL BE OK. Your advocate will help you organize your thoughts and experiences chronologically. Your story will develop and you will soon be able to see the genealogy of victimization accurately displayed before you. When that happens, all that horrible stuff won’t weigh so much, won’t have so much power over you. It’s hard to imagine, but you will begin to feel some relief. WHEW!!!! Glad that’s over, now it’s time for your “AHH HA!” discoveries.

Step Two – Be willing to be DONE…….We know that everything in you wants to hold on to the injustice, the trauma, the anger. But until you are willing to BE DONE, you remain vulnerable to continued victimization in many forms in many situations. You will continue to blame everyone and everything for your life challenges. You want to STOP THE CYCLE of victimization and abuse, especially if you have children. Our advocates will help you on this next step of making sense of your experiences and help you to let go of the things you did not and do not have control over. Then you can start focusing on those things you can truly impact and change. That’s true empowerment. But it is also scary. In many ways, it is easier for us as victims to continue to blame, because as long as it’s somebody else’s fault, we have no responsibility. So, together with your advocate, let go, be done, and hold on………because here comes the part when you have to take action, own what you need to own to move on, and not get stuck in the middle.

Step Three – BREATHE and jump…..Now you have taken out the trash and you can see what’s left clearly.  One by one you can begin to examine those behaviors and beliefs that have kept you vulnerable and victimized. You can now examine your own substance abuse, spending unmanageability, compulsive helping, perfectionism, overeating, overworking, hypochondria, your belief that your kids have to behave perfectly, etc. Whatever your personal attempts have been at relieving pain and trying to create a reality where you’re OK, you will now fearlessly own your challenges. Then you will humbly accept the help of our advocates in addressing these issues and slowly but surely begin the real (and really hard) work of getting real. Stepping Stones advocates do not judge, punish or lecture. They are amazing at unconditionally helping you move through this process. They will be with you when you begin to emerge on the other side and will help you to embrace new life of true peace and the freedom of letting go of all the baggage that doesn’t belong to you. It’s time to live your authentic life and choose to not be a victim any more.


928.445.HOPE (4673)